


The waves will pull us under (tides will bring me back to you)

by we_are_just_bad_code



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Maggie's POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-08-29 11:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8487478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_are_just_bad_code/pseuds/we_are_just_bad_code
Summary: The development of Alex and Maggie's relationship through the episodes in Maggie's point of view.Or how Maggie ends up falling for a certain DEO agent.





	1. 2x03

From the moment she met Alex, Maggie knew she was trouble.

Walking up to where she was inspecting some burn patterns, Agent Danvers, dressed in a black blazer and pantsuit, certainly imposed her presence. “What the hell do you think you’re doing on my crime scene?”

As she tried to fight Detective Sawyer for it, pulling out a badge that was away too detailed to be fake, Maggie found herself thinking that the agent showing up was one of the most interesting things that had happened in a while. She loved her job and all the action it brought along, but the opportunity to dispute an astonishing woman for jurisdiction over an investigation was something she hadn’t had the pleasure of enjoying in a while.

Although the agent made an impression that was hard to compete with, Maggie still felt confident. After all, she was not the one contaminating evidence by bagging it with inappropriate equipment as Danvers’ agents were doing.

She did find the agent’s attempt to intimidate her with her advanced technology cute, but that was her investigation and as a detective for the NCPD she had done her homework and so she was sure their suspect was absolutely an alien gifted with heat vision.

Maggie laughed internally at the surprise that crossed agent Danvers eyes before her expression turned neutral and annoyed once again. If that whole jurisdiction mess didn’t have to do with work Maggie would have probably tried to smoothly ask the agent out. After all, in her line of work, it wasn’t every day that she found beautiful women who actually knew what they were doing.

“Your jurisdiction ends where I say it does,” Danvers declared, crossing her arms to prove her point. Even if that extremely annoyed Maggie (she hated when someone prevented her from doing her job), she couldn’t help but flash the agent one of her signature smiles, looking her right in the eyes as she left.

After getting into her squad car, Maggie watched Danvers out of the corner of her eye, chuckling to herself as the agent reprehended the guy she had caught bagging the evidence incorrectly. She was still pissed for being excluded from the investigation, but it wasn’t the first time the feds had taken over one of her cases and it surely wouldn’t be the last. At least she now had the time to do some background checking on a certain agent.

***

After spending a couple of hours looking for a lead to follow, Maggie finally got to an abandoned building and was not at all surprised when Agent Danvers appeared some time later with a strike team at her command.

“Fancy firepower for a fed,” she stated, masking her curiosity with the usual stoic expression she had now saved for the agent. She had to admit Danvers had a great taste in weapons. That combined with her outfit’s change was enough to lead her to the conclusion she wasn’t working for the Secret Service after all. “You’re DEO, aren’t you?”

It turned out the agent who took a very interesting investigation away from her had a lot to explain about herself. Maggie’s curiosity was getting the better of her, but she was a detective and her job was, ultimately, to detect. After coming in contact with confirmation that the anti-alien agency actually existed, Maggie couldn’t just let this go. Especially not when said agency had such an intriguing women in its highest ranks. Detective Sawyer allowed herself to smirk at Danvers, who was clearly focused solely on finding her alien target.

***

Don’t ask how Maggie got Alex’s cell number, but she did.

After thinking about what her next step should be, she ended up deciding to bring the DEO agent along. She didn’t need to, but she figured it wouldn’t hurt to show the woman how local cops dealt with aliens, at least that’s what she told herself. To be honest, Maggie found her compelling and while she didn’t usually enjoy working with a partner, she was pretty sure Danvers wouldn’t fail to impress her. Plus, the agent obviously had more resources at her disposal than Maggie did, building a partnership with the DEO could have its benefits.

“Danvers.” Detective Sawyer smirked lightly at the way the agent identified herself as she picked up the phone. Alex was starting to grow on her.

***

Of course Agent Danvers had a really nice bike. And of course Maggie had to control herself in order not so show how attractive she found her to be as she took off her helmet. _This is simply work related business_ , Maggie told herself.

“I thought I’d buy you a drink,” she explained after Alex questioned what they were doing in a deserted alley in the middle of the night, knowing that didn’t sound professional at all.

 Nevertheless, she led Alex into the dive bar. This was who she was, a person who liked to take risks. And she was taking a big one by revealing the location of an alien safe-haven to a woman who arrested aliens for a living. But Danvers’ reaction to the place would reveal if she was worth spending her time on after they finished this case or not, and so she figured it was worth the risk. Not that Maggie would ever put the lives of the aliens that got together at that bar in danger for the chance of a date. She just had the feeling that Danvers wouldn’t betray the trust she was putting on her at the moment.

Turns out Agent Danvers was quick to judge the bar, but Maggie decided not to give up on her so soon.

“What do you see?”

“People who have made questionable life choices,” the agent replied, frowning and earning a playful smirk from the detective.

“Look closer,” Maggie suggested, getting ready to react when Danvers noticed they were surrounded by extraterrestrials. Just like she thought would happen, Alex reached for her gun  
instinctively. She didn’t blame her, after all this was new to her.

“Easy, easy,” Maggie prompted, forcing Alex to keep her gun hidden and secretly revelling in the fact she got hold the agent’s hand for a couple of seconds.

“So this is where you get all of your information about the alien population of National City,” Danvers concluded, her face still showing signs of suspicion as she looked around the bar.

“They also make a mean peach mojito,” Maggie admitted, flashing one of her smiles that she knew made a lot of women weak in the knees. Alex merely rolled her eyes, though, causing Maggie to chuckle internally. She was starting to really like this one.

Her ex showing up gave her the perfect excuse to come out to the agent, who was left speechless for a moment as she processed the information that was just presented to her. This was the first time Alex showed some sort of vulnerability in front of her and she loved observing how fast her expression changed. She just couldn’t resist pushing a little further. “I don’t strictly date aliens, for the record, though I do like them more than most humans”.

With her cards on the table, Maggie watched Alex as she organized her thoughts, wondering what to inquire about first. That informal meeting of theirs was turning out to be pretty fascinating. From the way the agent’s eyes squinted to how the corners of her lips lead to the shadow of a smile, Maggie was sure that her new found partner was worthy of her time.

“Why?” It was a simple question, but one that corresponded to a very long answer. Maggie, who normally didn’t like sharing things about herself, found that she didn’t mind doing it that much when it came to Danvers. She was a good listener, Maggie guessed.

Between getting the information they had come to get and watching Alex leave to report back to the DEO, Maggie told herself she knew what she was doing with the agent, after all she was always in control of her feelings. But the more she contemplated the woman, the harder it got to convince herself she wasn’t getting too involved.

***

Being kidnapped by the alien she had been pursuing the next day wasn’t the best thing that could have happened to Maggie Sawyer. And neither was watching powerless as Alex got pushed several feet away from her by a bright fire ball. She knew the agent was more than capable of holding her own, but that didn’t stop her from getting sort of angry at the fact that she was attacked under her supervision.

After being taken somewhere she didn’t recognise by her kidnaper and tied up to a rail in the ceiling, Maggie was seriously pissed off. The rope the alien chose to use in order to restrain her was burning her wrists as she tried to get free and her arm throbbed painfully due the burn she got previously. Having to hear that woman complain was just going to make her head start hurting as well. _You better get here fast, Danvers._

Surprisingly, she did, bringing along National City’s own alien superhero to fight beside her. While Supergirl got her ass kicked, Alex freed Maggie as fast as she could. “Get the gun and get out,” she ordered, her voice showing it was not up for discussion.

“Wait, don’t,” Maggie whispered once she realized the DEO agent was about to turn herself into a target as a distraction. _Damn, Danvers_ , she cursed, _you better not get yourself killed_.

Maggie had never been too good at following orders, but she was glad to be so stubborn or she wouldn’t have been able to knock out the alien threat, preventing a second round of ugly fighting.

“You guys are fun,” she admitted, breathing heavily with a smile on her lips, addressing Supergirl and the agent she had loved to disobey. It seemed they did make a good team after all.

***

Maggie could have denied Alex’s offer for the DEO to patch up, although she didn’t, in part because she really wanted to see the secret base with her own eyes, but also due to not wanting to say goodbye to the agent just yet.

It turned out the base was, indeed, even cooler than she had thought, although she wasn’t able to see most part of it. Alex made it a priority to state her injuries as if she had checked them herself, causing Maggie to be washed over by a warm feeling on her stomach. Ignoring how nice it felt to have someone care about her, Maggie flashed one of her smiles, showing her irresistible dimples, hoping it would hide the sudden pang of adoration that crept up on her. “Gee, didn’t know you cared”.

Agent Danvers’ scoff and obvious shift in position did nothing to help Maggie get rid of that unknown feeling; in fact it made it worse.

“You know, I usually don’t do well with partners, but I think we made a pretty good team,” the detective willingly admitted after a couple of exchanges. This time, her smile was back on her face simply because she enjoyed working with Danvers and, for a moment, she forgot she wasn’t supposed to be feeling the way she was.

The moment didn’t last long though, since Alex’s invitation to stay was too much for her to accept. Even if she didn’t have a date, which she did, her connection with the agent was developing too soon and too fast for her to deal with it; she needed to be away from her for a while.

Danvers looked almost disappointed as she left, but the detective pushed that to the back of her mind. She was sure they’d see each other soon enough.


	2. 2x04

 Maggie had finally gotten her hands on an alien related case, having the perfect excuse to call the agent that had been on her mind ever since she had met her.

“Danvers,” the woman answered the phone as she always did, causing Maggie to smile to herself. She didn’t want to admit it, but she had sort of missed that voice.

“It’s Sawyer. Wanna see a dead body?”

Just as Maggie expected, the DEO agent arrived at the crime scene in a couple of minutes, looking as good in her dark jeans and leather jacket as she had in her fake Secret Service attire. They were surrounded by people, but it was still hard to ignore how the skin at the back of her neck got goosebumps when she scented Alex’s soft perfume. Maggie tried her best to focus on what Danvers was there to take care of and so she pulled on her Detective Sawyer’s best business face on and proceeded to explain how they came to find a dead alien in the trunk of a car.

Suddenly, Supergirl landed a couple of feet away from them, reminding Maggie of the fact that Agent Danvers already had a partner. “Aw, right, forgot you two were running buddies,” she said, not liking how jealous she sounded but not really caring about the consequences of expressing her annoyance at Supergirl’s presence.

Truth was the detective was resentful of the fact Alex’s best friend or girlfriend or whatever was National City’s own superhero: The girl of steel. It made her feel even more unsure about what was happening between her and the agent, especially when they looked at each other with a level of confidence she had never experienced with anyone. Maggie wasn’t one to run after what she knew she couldn’t have and so the kryptonian’s presence reminded her of why she should keep the relation between her and Danvers strictly professional.

However, as they began to trade theories as to why such a peaceful alien would have been involved in a fight, Supergirl looked at the two of them with such a puzzled expression that Maggie couldn’t help but feel proud of herself. Maybe she did have a chance after all.

As they got separated in order to follow up on the case, Maggie found herself thinking that she had never fit in this well with anyone before, on a professional level at least. After so little time, the detective was surprised to see they were already finishing each other’s sentences and, to be honest, she was startled about how right it felt.

Most of her relationships had ended not due to lack of love, but because of absence of understanding. Now she had found someone in the same line of work as hers, that had the potential to understand her better than anyone else, but she was scared. Scared of what it all meant, scared of the looks Alex shared with Supergirl, scared of committing herself to someone again. Most of all Maggie was afraid the situation would blow in her face and she would be left to heal all by herself.

***

“Sawyer, it’s Danvers,” Maggie heard over the phone as soon as she picked up, which she probably did away too fast. The agent informed her of where they were going to find their killer, leaving her with the impression it was going to be just the two of them this time.

When she got to the address Danvers had given her, she was happy to notice she was right, no sign of the girl of steel. The pair quickly approached their target, which turned out to be more hostile than they thought he would be. They handled the situation as well as they always did, fighting the alien in sync as if they had been working together for years.

Maggie appreciated this part of their partnership, the adrenaline rush, the way it made her feel like she could take on anything with Alex by her side.

Unfortunately, the feeling didn’t last long. Just as they had gotten their suspect under control, a van strolled down the street, sliding open its door to let out a couple of very well trained men. Before Maggie had a chance to do anything at all, she felt a jolt of energy running from her back to the rest of her body and just like that everything was dark.

***

When the detective woke up, head throbbing and back aching, she felt as if she had been run over by a truck. Not recognizing where she was, Maggie attempted to get up, only to be taken over by nausea and having to lie back down again immediately.

“It’s okay, I called for backup, they’re taking us back to the DEO,” she heard a familiar voice reassure her, dipped in worry, and felt a shy hand attempting to squeeze her knee. “You’re going to experience some grogginess, but it should pass soon”.

After some incoherent mumbling, Maggie Sawyer finally noticed she was laying on the backseat of a car, her legs on Agent Danvers’ lap. “I’m okay, Danvers,” she managed to say as she attempted to sit up once again. “You can just drop me off at the precinct; we have some work to do”.

Even after being jolted with who knows how many volts, Maggie was aware that no matter how nice it was to have someone care for her, there were more important things they needed to take care of. Alex looked like she was about to protest, but Maggie looked her in the eye and was able to give her one of her best reassuring smiles. “Gotta find out what happened to our suspect,” she stated, giving Alex no choice but to give in.

“Take Detective Sawyer to where she wants to go,” the agent ordered the driver. Maggie thought she noticed Alex give her a look of concern, but she blamed it on the fact her vision was still blurry.

***

 “Sawyer,” the DEO agent answered the phone right after she hit the call button, giving Maggie the idea she had been impatiently waiting for an update on the situation. That mixed with how great her name sounded coming from the other woman’s lips made her heart tingle with warmth, which she allowed herself to enjoy this time.

After explaining she got a tip and would text her the address, Maggie made sure Danvers knew they were going somewhere away above their social status by requesting her to “wear something nice” and with that she ended the call, smiling to herself and wondering just why the idea of seeing Alex in a fancy dress pleased her.

***

“You clean up nice,” Maggie made a point of noticing, discreetly paying attention to how Alex’s dress hugged her body in all the right ways.

“I do?” Danvers chuckled nervously at the sight of the detective, “Well you do too with the shoes and the hair and..” she trailed off.

It was Maggie’s time to laugh since she couldn’t believe she had just been the cause of the soft blush that appeared on the agent’s cheeks. _Oh Maggie, you just got Agent Danvers to trip over her words_ , she thought, glad for having given herself the trouble of looking as good as she did.

“I’m not all business,” the detective reassured, wanting to make sure that was something Danvers knew. After the way Alex had taken care of her following the whole tasing incident, Maggie thought that was something she needed to confess, even though all the possibilities of what that might mean still gave her a feeling of uneasiness.

“But this is, right? I mean what are we doing here?” Alex’s words were a mix of concealed disappointment and curiosity, prompting Maggie to hand her a mask and take her hand, leading the way into what she suspected to be nothing good.

Maggie Sawyer was surprised at how soft the agent’s hand was and, as she turned around, she couldn’t help but let a small smirk take over her lips. Even just holding hands with Agent Danvers was a heavenly experience.

As they entered the building they were hoping lead them to some answers, Maggie navigated through the crowd with ease, explaining how they were among National City’s wealthiest. In order not to give away too much too fast, she reluctantly let go of the agent’s hand and reached for glass of champagne.

“What are they all doing here?” Alex asked, referring to those who surrounded them.

“We’re about to find out,” Maggie replied, just as much in the dark about the whole situation as her partner was.

After watching an incredibly attractive woman present the event they were going to assist, the detective came to the conclusion the DEO agent had already gotten to “National City’s got it self an underground alien fight club”.

By the time their previous suspect and the Last Daughter of Mars started hitting it off in the ring, Maggie was pretty sure their cover had been blown. Luckily, Supergirl showed up right before one of the security members started making his way to where they stood and this time Maggie was grateful for her presence. Although, it soon became clear that not even the girl of steel could handle a giant alien with super strength, which caused Alex get incredibly tense by Maggie’s side.

Dispersing the entertained crowd by firing a couple of rounds into the air and yelling “Police!”, Maggie tried to follow the hostess with her gaze but ended losing her, only to find Alex Danvers hovering over Supergirl, who had taken a pretty bad hit, with her eyes clouded by what was certainly love.

***

The next time she saw Agent Danvers she had her strike team with her, ready to take down Roulette. Apparently Supergirl managed to find out where the next event was being held and this time the DEO wasn’t taking any chances of not catching the woman behind it.

In this occasion, Maggie didn’t have the opportunity to give Alex one of her flirty smiles, since the agent meant business and so did she. After crashing Roulette’s little fight club and pursuing her through the building, Detective Sawyer finally got to put the woman responsible for hurting all those creatures in handcuffs and it felt damn good to do so.

However, Veronica Sinclair had friends in high places and Maggie saw herself forced to let her go. It was days like these that usually made Maggie crave for something to hold on to. Luckily, today she had Alex.

Part of her was surprised the agent had bothered to come down to the precinct instead of just calling to see how things were moving along. That part of her would have been really happy to see Alex, had it not been for the fact she had to free a criminal guilty of hurting so many just before the woman made her appearance.

Although, another part of her wished Alex hadn’t come. She didn’t want to have to deal with the mess that was her heart that night, but that wish quickly disappeared as Danvers’ claimed that she thought she was a “great cop”.

“You getting soft on me?” Maggie couldn’t resist the temptation to show her teeth as the corners of her lips were involuntarily raised.

This was something she was comfortable with, the effortless teasing; the mindless flirting. And she could see it had the desired effect on Alex as she scoffed a not so convincing “No” and proceeded to look at the detective like she didn’t know what was going on.

Maggie liked – no, loved – to tease her like this. It was something she knew how to do, something that put her in control of how things developed between the two of them. Knowing how to make women, and especially Agent Danvers, get flustered around her was something that satisfied her immensely.

“Look, I know in crappy moments like these I could use a drink so, what do you say? First round’s on me”. _Damn, you just had to ruin it, Danvers._

“Aww, can’t,” Maggie found herself saying, remembering she actually had a way of running away from her feelings for the DEO agent this time. “Hey, babe,” she greeted the woman she was seeing at the moment, kissing her right there. “Next time?”

 “Yeah, next time”.

Although Maggie’s heart clenched at the sight of how disappointed Alex appeared to be, she pushed that image to the back of her brain and focused on the stunning blonde she had with her. She would never make her feel half of the things Alex did, but that was the point. Things with her current date were simple, they didn’t make Maggie question everything she knew about herself.

It wasn’t that the detective didn’t want to take on the agent’s offer, she did, but between complicated and confusing, and smooth and easy, Maggie had to pick the latter. That part of her that wished Alex hadn’t come to check on her felt safe by not getting too involved with the woman, as if accepting to go out with her would make what she had been feeling for the past days real. She didn’t feel ready for real, not yet anyway. Especially not after realising how she might just be a second choice in Alex’s life. The part of her that jumped up and down every time she saw the agent refused to let her believe in that possibility, though.

Busy struggling with herself, all Maggie could do was hope Alex didn’t give up on her so soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't really sure about Maggie's internal struggle on this chapter, but I hope it works out.  
> Comments are very much appreciated :)


	3. 2x05

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This episode got me so emotional I had to rewatch it a bunch of times just to write this, let's hope something decent came out of that.

Apparently, the girl she had shot Alex down for, a couple of nights before, was not as great as Maggie thought she was. During the day she had work to keep her busy and stop her from overthinking about the whole break-up situation. Although, as her shift came to its end, Maggie found herself sinking back into the dark place she always went to after losing someone she cared for.

Not wanting to feel like crap over someone who obviously didn’t want anything to do with her, Maggie decided to accept Danvers’ invitation to have a drink this time. In part because she needed the alcohol to numb everything she was feeling at the moment, but also due to the fact she required some kind of distraction in order not to let her thoughts run wild. And what was a better distraction than a pretty girl and a game of pool?

Not that Maggie was thinking about Alex like that. She wasn’t. The DEO agent was extremely attractive and the two of them had more chemistry than Maggie had had with anyone in a while, still she needed to clear her head before diving into whatever it was that was happening between them.

And that’s how Maggie Sawyer found herself getting her ass kicked by a certain agent at her favourite bar’s pool table. She wasn’t sure if it was due to the fact that she hadn’t played in a long time or if it was because her mind was just not working correctly that day, but Alex Danvers ended up winning three games in a row.

When the agent set her cue down on the table, Maggie’s competitive spirit wasn’t yet ready to assume defeat. She used to be great at this sort of game. Nevertheless, it had been fun to spend some time with Alex outside of work and she didn’t feel like going home knowing she was going to end up thinking about what her girlfriend – no, ex-girlfriend – had said about her.

“Oh, I don’t get the chance to win my money back?” Maggie asked playfully, smirk on her face. She noticed Alex had been trying to let her win on the last round and even though she failed, Maggie still found her attempts to miss her balls pretty cute.

“With the rate that you play with, we’d be here for hours,” Alex smiled back, showing the bills on her hand to prove her point. “Your girlfriend would have to put out an APB.”

Just like that Maggie’s smile disappeared and her jaw clenched.

“Not likely, we broke up,” she revealed in severe expression, one that she wasn’t used to having on around Alex.

As all the things she had been trying to forget came back to her mind, Maggie quickly made her way to a barstool, hoping to avoid any questions Danvers might think to ask. With her incredibly long legs, the agent cached up to her easily, though, apparently not getting the very clear message that Maggie didn’t want to talk about it.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry, what happened?” Alex asked, her voice clouded with concern in a way that made Maggie wish the DEO agent didn’t have that soft spot for her after all.

“She dumped me,” Maggie was forced to admit bitterly. Saying it out loud was worse than telling it to herself, apparently, especially when she was admitting it to Agent Danvers, the girl she could actually have a shot with if she wasn’t such a mess sometimes. Not that she was ashamed or anything like that, but she knew Alex would want to know why it happened.

“She dumped you? Who would do that?” she gasped, sounding so surprised that Maggie almost gave into the nerve of turning around to face her instead of staying on her course. If she wasn’t still so vulnerable, the detective would have immensely enjoyed knowing that Agent Danvers didn’t think it was possible to want to leave someone like her.

“She did. Convincingly,” Maggie replied, wanting to put an end to the conversation.

“Well, maybe it was just a fight,” the agent suggested, hopefully, causing Maggie to wonder why she even cared so damn much.

“Well, she said I was hard-headed, insensitive, obsessed with work,” she sighed, feeling the usual mix of anger, sadness and frustration blossoming on her chest. Suddenly her throat was dry and she really wanted to leave. Talking about that really made her wonder if maybe her ex wasn’t right. It really made her consider that maybe she was cold and stubborn and too fixated on her job to show she cared about other things as well. But screw that, Maggie had loved that woman and had cared about her deeply or she wouldn’t be suffering as much as she was now… right?

“That’s not so bad,” Alex remarked, sounding as honest as ever, prompting Maggie to keep going, because having work as your first priority isn’t wrong, right? Agent Danvers appeared to understand that. Hell, she probably worked crazier hours than Maggie did.

“Also borderline sociopathic and she never wants to see me again so I’m pretty sure it’s over,” the detective finished, avoiding looking at Alex’s eyes, her muscles tense. She really didn’t want to talk about it. Talking about it made it impossible to avoid thinking of the idea that maybe she just wasn’t destined to have someone who could love her.

“Her loss,” Danvers said with a small smile that resembled an attempt to convince Maggie of what she was saying.

“I just thought she was…” she trailed off, thinking of the word _different_. And by different she meant someone who wouldn’t leave her due to how much her job meant to her or how little attention their relationship got because of it. Maybe it was unfair to think someone would agree to give up so much for so little.

“Thought she was what?” Alex insisted.

Suddenly it all became too much and Maggie just really had to _leave._ Everything she was feeling, everything she was thinking, Alex Danvers; it was just too much to deal with at the same time and she wanted to get away from it all. Which was really fucked up since she was feeling awful about what a girl she had been dating for a couple of weeks thought of her when said girl hadn’t even been the person Maggie thought of before going to sleep with a smile on her face. Because that person was right there next to her, trying to be supportive and acting like seeing Maggie kiss her now ex-girlfriend hadn’t felt like a shot to the heart.

The detective took a deep breath before speaking.

“Look, I appreciate the beer and the pool, but I think I’m gonna go home and drink something a little harder and lose my cool. See you later,” Maggie said, nodding and walking away before Alex even had a chance to say goodbye or she had the opportunity to see she was hurting the only person who cared about her broken heart.

Maybe this was what her ex meant when she said she was heartless and incapable of caring.

***

It would appear the universe didn’t want Maggie to have any of the alone time she desperately needed. The detective had just been called in to investigate another one of the scenes where the perpetrators had used alien weaponry and managed to escape.

While Maggie was glad for the distraction, it soon became obvious that case would be one of those which involved away too much science to Maggie’s liking. Not that she didn’t enjoy physics – she worked in the Science department for god’s sake – but sometimes Maggie found herself thinking she should maybe invest more of her free time on the latest technology advances, human and alien.

As she got up from where she had been bagging a piece of evidence, Maggie’s eyes looked up to find the person whose presence had now become a constant on life. Alex Danvers, dressed in her usual leather jacket, was walking directly towards her as she approached the scene with a smile on her face. Maggie’s chest was invaded by a warm feeling she didn’t yet know how to explain while she acknowledged the way the agent’s eyes sparkled slightly at the sight of her.

“You know, they didn’t teach me one thing about anti-gravity guns at the academy,” the detective disclosed once she was within Alex’s earshot, still in awe of everything that was involved in that case.

“We’re analysing thermal residue to look for any electromagnetic components of these weapons so we can create a countermeasure,” Agent Danvers informed, opening her eyes a little bit more, indicating it wasn’t going to be an easy job. Although Maggie understood the basics of what Alex was presenting as a solution, it still amused her how the agent talked about it, showing real interest in the cutest way, with a slight rise of her eyebrows.

“Nerd,” Maggie grinned, incapable of containing how gratifying it was to observe Danvers’ geeky side. The detective wondered how something so simple could bring the corners of her lips to rise involuntarily, even though she hadn’t smiled all day. What was Danvers doing to her?

“How are you feeling? Any better?” the DEO agent asked attentively as Maggie walked over to sign a couple of forms.

There it was again, that unsettling concern she had been sensing away too much on Alex’s voice lately. Although it was a nice change having someone who cared about her, Maggie couldn’t stop herself from thinking about the reason of such worry. She didn’t want to consider that she might be acting vulnerable around the other woman, even though she knew her tough act wasn’t working that well. Alex was probably able to see right through her.

So Maggie chose to answer honestly; everything was still awful and hurt, just like it had last time she had seen the DEO agent. As the detective walked to her car, Danvers kept suggesting they should go out and do something, but besides not really feeling like she was up to it, Maggie was confused about the agent’s intentions.

She wished Alex would have asked for her company at a better time, since she knew it would actually have been something that made her feel secretly thrilled. But today was just not a good day and so she rejected Alex’s invitations, pushing her away, the tune of her voice implying how tired she was.

“I just thought that we could go and have some fun. Y’know, keep each other company.” Danvers’ voice was somewhat starting to shake the tinniest bit and Maggie was able to notice how she appeared to be fighting with herself for sounding desperate.

“You and me?” she asked, skepticism clear on her voice and a doubtful shadow of a smile on her lips. Maggie searched Alex’s eyes for something that gave her a clue as to why the DEO agent was pressuring her so much about going out.

“Yes, why? Why? What’s wrong with that?” Danvers asked awkwardly, stumbling over her words and squinting her eyes in a way that made it impossible for Maggie not to smile. That day was taking an unexpected turn.

Suddenly it hit her: _maybe she is into you, Sawyer_.

“Nothing, I just, I think I read you wrong,” Maggie said, stunned. To be honest she had hoped from the moment they met that Alex would turn out to be gay. Why would she get so flustered around Maggie if it wasn’t because she liked her? But after she left from the bar, the detective had done some thinking and came to the conclusion that Alex wouldn’t care so much about her breakup if she did like Maggie. Why would she? It made no sense. If Danvers was into her, she’d be happy her relationship was over. Although Maggie had the idea the DEO agent was better than that, it sounded like the only logical possibility.

“What do you mean?” Alex Danvers actually appeared to have no idea about what she was talking about. _Oh_.

“I didn’t know you were into girls,” Maggie stated as if it was obvious, finding herself to be a little bit anxious at what Alex’s answer would be. _Didn’t know but suspected, hoped._

The agent’s eyes were stormed by something very close to fear all of a sudden and Maggie immediately knew what was happening.

“I’m not,” Alex affirmed not so convincingly, almost frozen.

“Oh, my bad then, sorry.”

“No… no, I mean no offense Maggie, I-”

“No, I get it, you’re not gay,” the detective interrupted, not wanting to drag out something that was obviously hard on both of them. Even though Maggie was used to not getting her hopes high and Alex appeared to be insecure about the subject, it still stung having to say those words to a woman she was really starting to form a bond with.

“Right,” Danvers agreed shakily, looking into Maggie’s eyes and nodding to prove her point, which led the detective to think she was right about the agent after all.

“You’d be surprised how many gay women I’ve heard that from,” she said neutrally, in order to put that information out there for the agent, who was clearly not yet aware of her own sexuality or was, at least, having a hard time accepting it. “Sorry, I, I just thought you were angling towards something-”

 “No, I wasn’t I was just trying to… I’ll let you know when we make some progress,” Alex assured, giving Maggie a smile the detective knew to be fake, before walking away.

Maggie watched her get back to her agents and decided not to go after her, despite how much she longed to. She knew what it was like being in Alex’s position, overwhelmed by a whole new side of her she didn’t even think to exist and scared by what it could all mean. Alex definitely needed some time and space to herself and so did Maggie. She had so much to deal with already and was sure Danvers knew she was there for her.

***

Apparently, with the help of Lena Luthor and a couple other guys Maggie didn’t really know the names of, Supergirl had been able to catch the men behind the attacks she had been investigating. Days like the previous one made the detective glad National City had its own superhero; she knew what would have happened to law enforcement officers if they had tried to fight the advanced alien weaponry with bullets.

Having the city’s latest high profile thieves in handcuffs was pretty gratifying. Furthermore, the morning sun warmed Maggie’s chest in the most comfortable way, causing Maggie to think it could be a great day.

However, as she got the prisoners ready for transfer, the detective noticed that something was missing. A sensation deep inside her told her someone else should be there. Someone she had gotten used to talking to after a hard case. Someone Maggie wanted by her side when she sent those robbers away for the rest of their lives. _Alex Danvers._

Suddenly, the guy she was trying to get inside the transport vehicle started mumbling to himself about a voice inside his head and the next thing she knew he and his buddies were collapsed on the ground, bleeding from their ears.

“Call a medic!” Maggie urged one of the other officers as she tried to figure out what was happening. Unfortunately, the first aid course she had learned at the academy didn’t cover that situation and for the second time while working that case, she felt like she still had a lot to learn.

“What the hell is happening?” she demanded to know from no one in particular. Her heart was racing. _How is this possible?_ Maggie felt fear like she hadn’t in years as she exasperatedly looked everywhere for an answer. What caused three healthy men to die simultaneously like that?

Danvers should be there.

***

After the bodies were taken for further investigation and Maggie was relieved of her duties for the day, she decided she desperately needed a drink. She had never seen anything like what happened that day and on top of everything else it was just too much to process. That’s how Maggie Sawyer found herself taking shot after shot at her favourite bar, her arms crossed, trying not to think too much about having three men spontaneously die in front of her.

“I heard what happened, you okay?” An all too familiar voice sounded behind her, pulling her away from the numbness that was threating to take a hold of her heart and mind.

“I’ve seen some crazy stuff since I joined the Science boys but that was… ahm… that was…” Maggie tried to answer, shaking her head and swallowing the lump on her throat. She attempted to prevent her eyes from revealing too much of what she was feeling and looked up at Alex, who looked as concerned as she had for the past day, hair cupping her face just like she remembered, eyes sparkling with concern. “Wait, what are you doing here?”

Maggie didn’t even have the energy to push her away like she had at the crime scene and so her voice was soft and vulnerable like it hadn’t been in a long time.

“I was worried about you,” she states as if it is something obvious, her eyebrow rising slightly as she spoke, her lips giving away a shy smile.

“Look, I’m sorry if I was too forward the other day, that wasn’t my place,” Maggie apologized, changing the subject, partially because she meant it, but also due to not wanting to overthink about what it signified that Alex openly admitted to care about her.

Now that she was paying full attention to the DEO agent she quickly picked up on how her knuckles were white from grabbing the edge of the table so hard as she shook her head and looked nowhere in particular, getting ready to speak. She seemed nervous and so Maggie wanted to encourage her to talk; she was pretty sure she knew what Alex was going to say.

“My whole life has been about being perfect,” she said quietly, continuing at Maggie’s small reassuring smile, “Perfect grades, perfect job, being the perfect sister, taking care of Kara, but the one part of my life that I’ve been never been able to make perfect… was dating,” she revealed.

Knowing all too well what that was like and how important that moment and discovery were, Maggie merely gave Alex her best understanding smile and waited for her to go on.

“I just never really liked it, I - I - I don’t know I mean I tried, you – you know I got asked out, I just I never liked…,” she took a deep breath, her eyes shining much more than they should, “being intimate,” she finished, rolling her eyes slightly as if she was embarrassed. “I just, I don’t know I thought maybe that was just not the way that I was built, you know? Just not my thing,” she continued, searching for encouragement in Maggie’s eyes. “I never – I never thought that it was because of the other. Maybe I – I mean I don’t – I don’t know, now I just – I just can’t stop thinking about…” her eyes opened a bit more, letting Maggie know she’s not ready to say the word just yet.

“About what?” the detective chose to ask calmly. That was the important part, she knew, the one Alex had to get to on her own. She only hoped her soft smiles and nods were enough to create an environment that felt safe enough for her to do so.

Alex looked at her as if what she was going to say next would change everything and Maggie knew that, in a way, it would. The detective knew she was terrified but she still prompted her to go on with a raise of an eyebrow.

“Maybe there’s some truth to what you said,” she admitted quietly and slowly, choosing her words carefully, not yet ready to go too far.

“About?” Maggie carefully asked once again, not wanting Alex to be more scared than she already was.

“What you said… about me,” she replied, looking up with relief.

Maggie tilted her head to the side like she was so used to doing and nodded, allowing herself to let her smile show her dimples this time. Her heart buzzed with warmth that came from knowing Alex trusted her with something as importan; she was proud, not only of herself, but also of the woman sitting in front of her, who had been brave enough to acknowledge a part of her she probably always ignored.

“I have to go,” Alex said after a while of looking at Maggie, her face reflecting a mix of emotions, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

As Danvers left, Maggie smiled to herself. Something great had come out of that day after all. Detective Sawyer was pretty sure Agent Danvers had a pretty huge crush on her at the moment, and although everything was still so new and both of them needed some time on their own to take care of their own problems, for the first time in days, Maggie felt hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are very much appreciated  
> I'm on tumblr @we-are-just-bad-code


	4. 2x06

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally put off writing this chapter because I didn't want to project my feelings on the characters, but I think it turned out pretty well. Wrote it at 2 am though, so my apologies for any grammatical mistakes.

After spending most of the day filling out paperwork due to the previous day’s incident, Maggie headed to her favourite alien bar, deciding she deserved a drink. She was partially hoping to find Alex there, since she hadn’t yet seen the woman after last night’s confession and wanted to make sure she was alright. Maggie knew realizing something so important would certainly have a big impact on Alex’s life and although text messages were great, she wished to see the DEO agent in person.

It was still early and so Maggie didn’t allow herself to get disappointed at the fact Alex wasn’t there. Instead she went to the pool table, determined on practicing so she could beat Danvers one day. Her lips turned into a small grin as Maggie remembered Alex’s soft laughter once she became aware that the detective was awful at the game.

“Danvers, you’re alive,” Maggie grinned as she noticed the agent approaching her and wondered if meeting there was their thing now. She guessed it was and her smile grew at the thought.

“Yeah… sorry,” Alex apologized, her eyes studying the detective’s face, taking in the way her hair fell over her leather jacket.

“For what?” Maggie asked, remembering the previous night. Although she was showing some sort of awkwardness, Alex appeared to be fine and that caused a warm and content feeling to find its way across the detective’s chest.

“Well, for coming in here and dropping a bomb on you,” she explained.

“That’s not the first bomb that’s ever been dropped on me,” Maggie assured, fighting the not so tiny part of her that wanted to reach out to Alex, hold her hand once more and make sure the agent knew she would still be there even if she hit her with the worse of weapons.

Instead of doing something that would definitely not help their situation, Maggie moved around the table. “How are you doing with all of that?” she asked, glad her voice was neutral and not betraying how worried she actually was.

Alex’s shrug and slight frown told her she was probably not as okay as she seemed.

“I just-,” she started, her eyes not meeting Maggie’s, which were resolvedly focused on Alex’s expression. “I don’t know what to do now. You know, I mean, I’m almost thirty,” she admitted, finally meeting Maggie’s gaze, her eyes slightly more open than usual. “And I feel like a kid again,” she finished, giggling shortly, trying to mask how scared she actually was.

Maggie saw right through her.

“Well, everyone’s experience is different; I can only tell you what I did,” she stated, smiling reassuringly.

“Which was what?” Alex asked, a bit too fast, a bit too desperately, her hair’s waves moving around as she shook her head.

“I came out to my family,” Maggie replied, watching as Alex’s expression was suddenly washed over by dread and her lips parted slightly at her sharp intake of breath.

 “How did they take it?” she inquired, her voice revealing a last spark of hope.

Maggie couldn’t help wanting to take Alex into her arms and hug her tight, making her feel safe, protecting her from anything that could cause her pain, preventing her from ever feeling afraid. But she couldn’t do that. Not then.

“Well, ah, my dad isn’t exactly known for his open-mindedness but he was pretty good,” Maggie answered, her lips pursed, her eyes looking away from Alex’s face. “And so was my mom,” she finished, hoping the agent wouldn’t pick up on how that was still a sensitive subject, even after all the time that had passed since she first came out as a teenager.

“Maybe it’s just a phase… You know, maybe it isn’t real,” Alex shook her head, not appearing to believe there was a possibility of everything working out.

Maggie’s heart clenched. She remembered finding herself thinking the same thing, denying that part of her existed because she was scared. Although she turned out just fine and learned to accept herself pretty quickly, Maggie knew this was harder for Alex than it had been for her. The agent had built her whole life without understanding one of the most relevant parts of herself.

“It’s real,” Maggie said, pausing for a moment to let the idea sink in. “You’re real and you deserve to have a real, full, happy life,” she continued. “Okay? Tell your family,” she encouraged, flashing Alex a small smile. “This is the biggest thing that’s ever happened to you and you shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

“I have you,” Alex said almost immediately, causing Maggie’s heart to skip a beat and tingle with pure joy.

“Yeah, you do and I’m good for a drink when you come out,” she replied, her signature smile on full display this time.

“You promise?” Alex asked, her voice soaked in something close to a mix of hope and dread. Maggie couldn’t stop herself from grinning. Alex Danvers was opening herself up for _her_ , letting _her_ see her most vulnerable side.

“Cross my heart,” she reassured, tightening her grip around her pool cue as to resist the temptation of brushing her fingers against Alex’s cheek.

Since when had she started gravitating towards Alex so much anyway? When had that constant pull that kept causing her to want to be in the woman’s presence overcome her?

Unable to answer her own questions, Maggie pushed her feelings aside and watched Alex go as she got called into work, not even realising she was supposed to be fighting the smile that took its place on her lips.

***

The Parasite’s rampage had caused a lot of damage and mayhem, which meant Maggie spent yet another day checking out crime scenes and filling out reports that piled up on her desk. Her last few cases had been practically all handed by the DEO, in missions she wasn’t part of, which was causing the detective to get a little restless.

However, Maggie didn’t complain about having a couple of quiet days every once in a while. Especially not after everything that had happened lately, which left her with an unusual need to take things easy and think about certain aspects of her life. And by aspects she meant her broken heart and the way it became a mess every time she saw Alex Danvers.

As she made her way across the city to her bar, Maggie found herself thinking more and more about the agent and by the time she got there, she was hoping to see her there so she could get her ass kicked at the pool table once more.

That deep desire to be in the Alex’s company was starting to bother her a little though. Maggie wondered if the pang of disappointment she felt when she found the agent wasn’t there was something she should be feeling. She knew that falling too hard too soon would only lead whatever was happening between them to chaos, but Maggie had been unable to push Alex to the back of her mind all day.

She usually prided herself in having the ability to become emotionally detached from this kind of situations, even though, lately, her heart seemed to be betraying her. Alex coming out to her and seeking comfort in the time they spent together had not helped Maggie keep her newly found feelings at bay.

Lost in her thoughts, Maggie focused on the current task: improving her non-existent pool skills. Pulling her shirt’s sleeves up to her elbows, the detective made her way around the table before noticing an all too familiar figure approaching her.

“Hey, Maggie,” Alex greeted her, a smile on her lips that lighted up the detective’s world. She loved how her name sounded in the agent’s voice and even though it wasn’t the first time she heard it there, she couldn’t help but revel in listening to it again.

“Danvers! Hey, I was hoping you’d turn up,” Maggie happily admitted, smiling widely, her dimples on full display as she took in Alex’s appearance. “Any interest in a game?”

“Well, actually I was wondering if you were still good for that drink you promised me,” Danvers disclosed as the closest lamp illuminated her face, giving Maggie a perfect view of her small smirk and teeth coming to nip softly on the agent’s lips.

 “You told Kara?” the detective grinned, her chest swelling with pride as Alex nodded. This was as joyful as Maggie had ever seen her. Happiness looked so good on her; Maggie couldn’t help but think she was beautiful.

“Yeah you did? Aw I’m so happy for you,” Maggie moved in closer and took Alex in her arms, hugging her tightly, letting her know just how glad she was. Her arms came to temporarily rest on Alex’s shoulders and she was able to catch a scent of the woman’s soft shampoo.

Maggie found herself thinking she could stay in that moment forever, she hadn’t been that content in weeks. However she ended up forcing herself to pull away from Alex, missing the embrace as soon as she stepped away.

“I’m buying all night, what are you having?” she asked, walking away to the bar only to feel a something grab her arm and pull her back to where she was.

Suddenly she had a soft hand caressing her cheek and Alex’s lips on hers. For the briefest of moments, Maggie allowed herself to melt into the kiss. This was what she had been dreaming of ever since she had met Danvers at that crime scene. This was what she thought of when she couldn’t fall asleep late at night. This was what she wanted the most.

But soon enough alarm bells were rigging inside Maggie’s head, telling her she couldn’t have this. Not yet, anyway. It wasn’t the right time.

It took everything Maggie had to stop her hand from tugging on Alex’s jacket and letting it fall by her side instead.

“Wow,” she said, pulling away, her mind an incoherent mess of thoughts and desires.

Alex’s hands fell away from her cheeks and Maggie couldn’t help but want them back on her face, already missing the heat they radiated and the way Alex’s lips felt on hers.

“I have been wanting to do that,” the agent confessed, her eyes searching for something in Maggie’s, vulnerability clouding her gaze as she awaited the detective’s reaction.

If Maggie’s heart wasn’t already beating at an incredible high pace, trying to escape the prison that was her chest, she was sure it was now.

 “Yeah, I can tell,” she smirked, lingering on the feeling of how alive she felt when Alex kissed her, on the fact that she needed to do it again.

It hurt like hell to push all of her emotions aside in order to forget that what she wanted was right there in front of her.

“Was that not okay?” Alex asked, her voice shaking slightly as insecurity crept up on her once again. Maggie’s heart clenched at the way one simple action of hers caused the DEO agent to be afraid all over again.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she reassured, fighting the need to reach out and make sure Alex knew exactly how much she meant it.

“But something’s wrong.”

“Well, we’re at really different places,” Maggie started, watching as Alex’s eyes became shinier and she forced herself to nod. “And everything is changing for you and everything is gonna feel really heightened and shiny and-,” she hummed for a moment, trying to find the right words. “You should experience that for yourself, not just to be with me,” she continued, knowing very well she was breaking Alex’s heart, conscious that it was easier to focus on the fact the agent was just starting to figure herself out than admitting how scared she was of what was happening between them.

“I shouldn’t get involved with someone who’s just fresh off the boat, those relationships never really work out,” Maggie finished, smiling softly, swallowing the _“and I want things to work out with you_ ” that was about to come out of her lips.

“I’m here for you, but as a friend,” she added, wanting to make sure Alex knew this didn’t change anything between them; wanting to wipe away the sadness that had now taken over the agent’s eyes and was causing her lip to quiver no matter how hard she tried to keep a neutral expression on.

“Mhm,” Danvers managed to mutter, taking in a deep breath.

Maggie was barely able to ask if they were cool before Alex was turning away from her, her faked smile crashing down as she was no longer able to deal with the sting of rejection.

“Alex, don’t go,” Maggie pleaded, feeling her legs go weak and being washed by slight nausea as she realised that she was the cause of the tears on Alex’s eyes, that she was hurting the person she was trying to protect.

“I’ll see you,” Alex dismissed her and continued walking towards the door, her voice cracking. Maggie knew she had fucked up.

As she watched the woman she was growing to care so much for walk away, Maggie’s chest caved in on itself and she allowed her fingers to touch the spot on her lips where Alex’s mouth had just been moments ago.

Although she knew she had done what was best for the both of them, Maggie couldn’t stop wondering if maybe she could have handled it better.

She told herself that it had been the only way. After all, Alex was still discovering herself and Maggie had just come out of a relationship. Everything was so new for the agent and the detective was scared it would all blow up on their faces if they didn’t give it time.

She wanted to be sure she was what Alex wanted and not just the reason of her gay awakening. She needed to be more than that; she couldn’t become someone Danvers would leave after finding someone better; she couldn’t be someone Alex would regret.

Although a part of her told her Alex wouldn’t do that to her and wanted to go back in time and kiss the agent back, Maggie knew this was for the best. Neither of them was ready for commitment at the moment.

Alex needed to understand who she really was without someone’s expectations weighting her down; and Maggie knew she couldn’t get involved with her then, not after having broken up with her ex just a couple of days before.

Alex deserved much more than what Maggie found herself to be at the moment; she deserved someone who would not be afraid to love her and that was something the detective couldn’t currently be.

Nevertheless, being aware of all of these things didn’t help ease Maggie’s thoughts, which were still beating her up for hurting Alex.

Doing the right thing really sucked sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are very much appreciated  
> Talk about sanvers with me on tumblr at @we-are-just-bad-code

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Deathbeds" by Bring Me The Horizon.  
> 


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